Thoroughly Milly

First Weigh In of 2012, Goals, and Realizations

My weigh in:

Beginning weight of 2012—229.6 (The result of indifference, kids!)
First weigh in of 2012—227.4
Change since beginning of 2012—2.2

And now for the things I will pay attention to this week (also known as weekly goals):

• Water—Remember that thing called water, Amelia?  Yeah, you kind of need it in order to live and function.
• Iron—remember that whole thing called anemia, Amelia?  If you don’t take your iron you’ll feel like you’re 120 years old.  The reason you have no energy and get winded when you stand up?  Because you forget to take your iron (and to drink liquids) so you can’t complain about it.
• Weight watchers—one week and you’ve lost 2.2 pounds.  You know this helps you lose weight, Amelia.  Don’t stop doing it.
• Physical Activity—exercising makes endorphins, endorphins make you happy.  Happy people don’t kill people!
• Find and wear makeup—people don’t need to see you look like Uncle Fester
• Finish my jar of happiness—(see below)
  

My Realizations

The main reason I want to lose weight is to feel better about myself.  I know that weight loss will not bring happiness, but this is okay because over the past year I have learned to love and respect myself more than I ever have.  I’ve stopped caring, really, about what others thought of me.  This was huge.  It was a very large part of my life: I couldn’t sleep, I was anxious all the time, I was paranoid, etc.

I’m glad I’ve reached this point.  However, I’ve let myself slide because I have the attitude of “what’s the point.”  For instance:

• I haven’t worn makeup in over two months—at first it was because I didn’t have time in the mornings (or I’d rather sleep than put on makeup) but now I’ve lost my makeup and just use that as my excuse.
• I was not paying attention to what I was eating at all—this has been fixed
• Exercise? What’s that?—this is currently being fixed
• I have let myself be consumed by work.  I don’t even know what I want anymore.  I can’t even make the decision of what to make for dinner, what movie I want to watch, what I would like to do for exercise, what I wanted to do for the holidays, or which towel I want to use after my shower (yes, really—this is where I realized something was wrong).  I honestly can’t feel that want in my gut.  I don’t like being completely indifferent!

I feel I need to focus on the little things and definitely the non-work related things more to help me keep my sanity and realize that there are things out there other than work and stress. 

To help with this, I’m making a daily challenge jar full of things to do.  I will draw one and have to complete it by the end of the day.  They’re nothing major, just things like

• read one chapter of a book
• go for a 3 mile walk
• try a new recipe
• sing your heart out to a song
• play my flute
• compliment a stranger
• read the Bible for at least 15 minutes
• do Zumba

I think this will be a fun, little challenge that won’t require me to make a decision.

I need some suggestions on my daily challenges, though!  I’ve made it to about 200 things and need 165 more.  So what do you think I should throw in my jar?